She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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