I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Randomize