Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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