Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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