Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
