I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
