East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
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