I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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