doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
