porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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