She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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