I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize