My liver just broke up with me...
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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