new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
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