this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
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He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
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LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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