did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
