How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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