After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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