bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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