there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
