Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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