if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize