I think my fart just growled at me.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
