I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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