Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
