My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule