Cold hands, warm shart.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity