theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize