Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i love accidental penises.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just gargled with NyQuil
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
