Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
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