4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
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I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
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Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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