i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
