So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
