Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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