I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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