yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize