i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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