Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
