it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
This is my gift to your gina
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
