Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
The uberlube is also flammable
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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