No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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