Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
nutella sex= disaster
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
