Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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