I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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