It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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