it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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