literally had 100 drinks last night.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
