East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I wish I only lived at night.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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