I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Fuck appropriateness.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize