I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
