I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
