My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize