hotel room ftw
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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