can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
