i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
