After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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