i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
