I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
