I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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