know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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